Saturday, 9 April 2011

A - Z Blogging Challenge: H is for Hijacked Moaner

Hijacked moaner

Alright. Before you start to picture Adam saying these things (for those of you who know him (although if you don't know him and still read this blog, I like to imagine you have an image of him in your head)) well STOP right now. This ain't Adam. My name is Charlie, and I have hijacked his blog today. I'm reliably informed by intense bloggers, I of whom am not one, that today I must moan about things that begin with the letter H. So I will tell you 5 things that annoy me, beginning with the letter H.

H - To start with, the letter himself. Now you're probably there thinking "Oi you judgemental bloggin' virgin, what has poor little letter H done to you? Sure he may not have the hard hitting presence of the K's or P's of the world, but this little fella has heart. In fact, he begins "heart". Woah woah woah I cry. Calm done, hear me out. I don't dislike the letter for his soft sounds. It's the ambiguity of his pronunciation. Is it "aich" or "haich". I was personally raised on "aich". I disregard the argument that it should sound phonetically as the letter it is being named after. F isn't "Fef" Y isn't "Yi" W isn't "woubleyou" etc etc.

Herpes - I don't need to explain this one. Show me a person who like herpes and I'll call the social services.

Hampers - They always disappoint me. I feel I like the majority of food (he said as he tucked into a slice of bacon wrapped round a breadstick) but people fill these exciting food experiences with all sorts of boobah such as ginger parkin, almond loaf and chocolate limes. Shut up and bring me some cake.

Hints - People are useless at giving hints. They're either less subtle than if Where's Wally stood in the Sahara desert or ridiculously cryptic. I want something in between "He's hiding behind the sofa" and "The sun does rise, the moon does shine, a healthy fox and a crispy line"

Hubris - I had to think twice about this being my final choice, as it's such a funny word. But by golly does a hubris filled gentle folk get on my shoulder like the metaphorical monkey. Learn to share.

The likelihood is that you are staring at this screen blanker than a blanket, thinking "what on earth is this fella raving about?" Don't feel guilty, I'm used to it. And don't worry, Adam will be back tomorrow


  1. really really enjoyed this post!
    Flora x

  2. what I would describe this post. Since I don't know who Adam is either, I'm perfectly fine with your hijacking of this blog post for today. The Herpes is annoying but a well stocked Hamper can mean the difference between an entertaining weekend and a night spent trying to visit other people who have better food.

    The Madlab Post

  3. LMAO I want cake in my hamper, and I was raised on aich as well. You're right, no one I know is good at giving hints. Those are best left for crossword puzzles.

  4. Good post, Charlie. I also hate hints. For Pete's sake just tell me what's on your mind! Luckily, I've been married to the same man for 33 years, we are both faithful so we won't ever get Herpes! Yep, we were born at the right time.

  5. Cute guest post. I this through the A to Z challenge and I look forward to reading more from you (both).

  6. I'm an "aicher" as well. In fact, I will keep it that way for balance. In Afrikaans (native language) H is "haah" in French, "ahtch" in Mandarin "huuuuuuh" so... English needs to stay "aich." In fact, I could argue that the pronunciation comes from the French one (which is very likely).


  7. Thanks everyone, I have passed on your comments to the writer of this post Charlie, and he is very shocked on the response he got. Very happy.